The RIPPED woman

I want to meet a young adult female that isn’t confused about who they should be... who am I kidding, I probably will meet them, a bunch of them too. Because you know how we are as people- when we are facing something we believe the whole world revolves around that one matter... so maybe I’ll meet them... and there’s also the possibility that I won’t- the possibility that I’ll only meet the ones that are like me- the ones that are confused and torn.

Yes, I’m a very torn person. I think the era we’re in is a very interesting and challenging one. I just don’t know : who’s a modern woman, who’s an African woman, and who’s a Christian woman (the so called proverbs 31 woman)... but most importantly, can they be one?? .... because I am so confused, I feel like I literally am all 3 at the same time... maybe not “am” per say, but rather I exhibit all of them from time to time, under different pressures and influences. ... and that’s legit what confuses me, because these three are completely different women, so how can they exist in one vessel?? Just how???.

More daunting than that is then the question- is it even allowed to have all three attempt coexistence? ... surely one should only pick one and stick to it...because I’ll admit this much- that by housing all 3, I’ve seen them in constant conflict... but how do I pick when I neither fully agree nor fully disagree with any of them?

What takes precedence in my life as a Christian is of course the biblical woman.... but do I even fully comprehend her? It’s hard to, when at home; my African culture expects me to serve the man and jump at his command-to have no voice... or when my ‘woke’ mind- me being an Educated Young Lady,  Exposed To Different Cultures and ideas (that is the chimamandas, the friends, the social media,  the books,  the radio and TV discussions)- tells me to be independent, to have a voice, to be an equal , to have more value than my domestic abilities...

I’m hoping you’ve kind of gotten a sense of my dilemma ... because after all that confusion I have to try and figure out what God wants me to be. It seems that I’m supposed to submit, to serve, to be quiet and gentle- attributes that i lifted from here and there in the bible... it doesn’t seem to support the modern woman very much- because that one has quite the mouth, quite the opinion and quite the mind of her own. On the other hand it doesn’t completely support the African culture either; because I hear it telling the men to be compassionate, considerate and respectful of women-thus I get a sense that the word doesn’t encourage men to exploit women as the African culture allows them to. I can’t help but make an observation however that there is a sense of higher authority being granted to the male...but paying close attention to the proverbs 31 woman gives me some hope- she is such a bawse! Understand that she is busy, she is smart, financially savvy, and all round wise... but we can’t ignore how her worth is linked the man...

So I was wondering if maybe the Christian woman is a perfect balance of the modern and African woman... I mean is that even possible? Well I desperately want it to be... because I’m a strange hybrid of a woman- see I want to be domestic without it being an expectation or taken for granted(because somehow homemaking is beautiful to me), I want to have a voice without it being the last one heard... want to submit under authority without being subject to it... and I want independence without depending solely on myself...

I really hope that a hybrid woman is what the Christian woman truly is... but like I said, I haven’t yet attained full comprehension of what she should be... I’m hoping that I’ll get revelation soon but for now, I was seriously wondering -is any young woman out there as ripped as I am about this? There has to be more of us... there just has to be.